i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
