If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
