I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
