Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
