grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
