Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
