Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
