He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
