I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
