wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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