found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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