im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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