maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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