T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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