The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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