Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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