apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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