just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
