Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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