no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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