Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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