Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
