im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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