Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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