Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dear god my vagina.
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