well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
time to smoke my breakfast
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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