Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
