this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
