u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
A bitchslap is in order.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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