well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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