That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
