Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm jealous of your bromance
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
