Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
