Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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