My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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