And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
