Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
