Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize