I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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