You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
