He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
