Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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