She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
