I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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