he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
