meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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