I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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