could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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