Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize