Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
