all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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